Ogre Etiquette

Check out my one act comedy, “Ogre Etiquette,” available with Big Dog Plays.

FARCE. Fairy Godmother is at wit’s end with her class of unruly, misbehaved princes and princesses and all their fighting, dueling, and combative behavior. To teach her students that their behavior is most un-charming, the Fairy Godmother tells them the story of Princess Pearlette and Olga “the ornery” ogre. When Princess Pearlette meets Olga, she invites her to a tea party. At first, Olga thinks Princess Pearlette would make a good teatime treat, but instead the two become friends. Princess Pearlette teaches Olga to refrain from commenting on how plump and delicious someone looks, to smile without bearing her teeth, to greet others without growling, and to ballroom dance. In return, Olga shows Princess Pearlette how to do the ogre dance, which involves scratching oneself all over, rolling in the dirt, and fiercely staring at others while circling them. Princess Pearlette convinces her brother Prince Charming that it’s better to dance with ogres than fight them, and Olga shows the other ogres that it’s more fun to attend palace balls, dance, and eat crumpets with the royals instead of dining on them.

 

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